Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
