then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
