All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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