Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
