you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
