I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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