it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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