Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
