Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Come see our sink grown plant.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
