i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
