Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
