ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
