Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
