Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Small penises have feelings too.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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