Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
