I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
