five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
