It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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