i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
