I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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