now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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