i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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