The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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