i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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