I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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