your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
