I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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