the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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