non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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