She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
