that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
