if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
