she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
