It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
