I think I died a long time ago.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize