I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
