So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
