your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
