moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize