Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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