no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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