Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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