oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Holy shit dude........stairs
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