If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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