fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
