I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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