is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
