Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize