Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
