So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
pop tarts are not kleenex
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
