I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
