We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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