I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
