My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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