I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
