He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
