I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
