I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
