It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
