Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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