All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
In the future we'll all be gay
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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