I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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