its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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